don't mess with the Pie Ho, oh no! (jantalaimon) wrote in 1973flashfic,
don't mess with the Pie Ho, oh no!
jantalaimon
1973flashfic

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Amnesty 2007 (2) - Music Challenge, by jantalaimon

TITLE: The Night After Chris-mas
AUTHOR: Janni
WORD COUNT: 837
STYLE/WARNINGS: Red Cortina. Sam/Chris. Musical version of ""Roundabout," which was itself a continuation of The Psycho!Samatic Cycle.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I'm very, very sorry. You may not believe me, and I won't blame you if you don't, but I am. D:
DISCLAIMER: Life on Mars is copyright Kudos and the BBC. All song lyrics are copyright their respective authors, and a full list shall be provided in endnotes. No infringement is intended and no money is being made.



THE NIGHT AFTER CHRIS-MAS

All around him, the world had gone sort of cream-coloured.

It was kind of nice, this. Quiet. No telly on to taunt him, and no sign of that blasted Test Card Girl.

Peace on earth, good will towards men...at last. Sam smiled. He couldn't remember ever actually relaxing enough to enjoy the holidays previously.

Then he heard caroling outside his cell which inadvertently made him smile. Since they'd taken off his straitjacket and since he was by now extremely loopy due to his evening meds, he discovered he found himself quite in the mood for dancing.

He began to sway, as the song filtered in through his door.

UNKNOWN VOICE: Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance but you still catch my eye
Tell me baby do you recognise me?
Well it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me

The voice got closer and closer. Then the knob on his door began to turn, as a key snicked into the lock, and Sam grew apprehensive. He had enough sense left to realise it was highly unlikely anyone would want to bring him good tidings of great joy after all he'd done.

And then the door opened, and Sam found, to his great disbelief, he wasn't even able to black out against the horror now staring him in the face.

It was Chris, dressed up to resemble the Test Card Girl's erstwhile clownie friend. His surprisingly mellifluous tenor had been what had set Sam's toes to tapping a moment ago. Sam felt the bile rise in his throat as Chris entered the cell, grinning an exceedingly cold grin that never quite reached his eyes as he sang the next verse:

CHRIS: (Happy Christmas!) I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "I Love You" I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Here, Chris paused. Raised the knife he'd held behind his back. Began attempting to hold a whimpering Sam down on the bed. Smiled as he directed the Test Card Girl to help him restrain Sam. Then continued singing as he popped the buttons off Sam's pyjamas, one by one with the tip of his knife.

CHRIS: (Oooh. Oooh Baby)

A crowded room, friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice
My God I thought you were someone to rely on
Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man undercover but you tore me apart
Oooh Oooh
Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
(Gave you my heart)
A man undercover but you tore me apart
Next year
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special
special
someone
someone
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special
who'll give me something in return
I'll give it to someone
hold my heart and watch it burn
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special
I've got you here to stay
I can love you for a day
I thought you were someone special
gave you my heart
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone
last christmas I gave you my heart
you gave it away
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone

When Sam finally did black out, it was the greatest mercy ever bestowed upon one man.

~~~fin~~~

[ENDNOTES: "Last Christmas" Written by George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley, c. 1984. Covered by innumerable entities since, all over the world, which apparently has resulted in http://www.last-christmas.com/ . Oh my.]
Tags: amnesty 2007, loz is going to kill me, music challenge
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